The moonlight glistened, reflecting off the lake in front of me. Quiet chatter floated from the ballroom, mixing with the soft slow music. I breathed deeply. The roses' pungent smell mixed with the pine trees that surround the property. The sound of footsteps reached my ears. The last thing I see is the lake quivering before a sack gets thrown over my head. A sickly sweet smell hits my nose, as I slowly black out.
I Smiled as I walked into the familiar bakery, the scent of baked goods hitting me at full force. The owner, A kind lady called Brie Mclean, smiles at me as I sit down at a cream colour table. The soundtrack to Dear Evan Hansen, plays softly. I get out my homework, and Mrs Mclean comes over with a small cake with a surprise smaller cake inside called so big so small. I smile at her as she sets it down. I bit into it and chocolate floods my mouth. I smile as I swallow. This is my favorite shop EVER!
Ya. I know they are bad, but...... I. Don't. Care. I like the first one better. I think it has better Sensory Language, the second one, not so much. I like the idea of it, but the execution of it was not as good as it could have been.
Hi Michaela,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your sensory language paragraphs (and they are NOT bad!). What do you think would help 'the education of it'? Would you like more teacher at the front kind of learning, group tasks, workshops, videos, projects or something else entirely? Once we move past this unit, the class format will change a bit. Great work so far -- keep it up! :)
Miss Johnson
Hi Miss Johnson
DeleteIt wasn't the teaching that was bad, it was how I executed it. Sorry I used the wrong word. I will change it.
Michaela