Metaphors and similes

Metaphors and similes. Two words I can not spell. So instead, I use copy and paste. Yes I am lazy. Yes I do not care. Now to the question I have to be answering. What is are metaphors and similes?

Well, a metaphors is basically when you say it is that thing. So, I am a sneaky snake. Well obviously I am not a snake, Or am I? Na, any way, a simile is when you say it is like that thing. So, I am like a sneaky snake.

Some metaphors:
It is raining cats and dogs
Let's talk about the elephant in the room (Or there is an elephant in the room)
His eyes were ice as he stared at her
I am Fit as a fiddle
He said it with the confidence of someone caught with their hand in the cookie jar, in a cookie factory, and his pants are on fire

Some smilies 
it was As light as a feather
He was eating like a Pig
Her glare was as sharp as daggers 
They grinned like a cat
It was as dead as a dead thing

Haikus

In English we are doing a creative writing matrix. One of the options where haikus. So I did that. Here they are. Yes one is just cake written multiple times. Yes it works. Yes it is proper haiku. Yes all these answers are yes. Yes I do not care. Yes you can not change my mind. Yes I will shut up now. Yes I lied. Yes you can no longer trust me. Yes I know you are starting to get annoyed. Yes I will actually let you read the haikus now. Yes I am telling the truth. Yes I know I have kept talking. Yes I know you could just skip all of this and just read the haikus. Yes I lied again. Yes I know you now hate me. Yes I do not care. Yes I will actually shut up now.

Haikus

You can ship people

Like Klance, Stucky and Drarry.

Yes they are all gay.

Flowers are pretty

Rose, Pansy, Lilly, Daisy.

Petunias as well.

Cake cake cake cake cake

Cake cake cake cake cake cake cake 

Cake cake cake cake cake

Haikus are tricky

Apollo is bad at them 

Everyone hates his

School is sometimes fun 

Half the time it is not though

The rest is ok 

Yes I am back. Yes I will keep doing this for a while. Yes you can stop reading now. Yes I know you will not do that because you want to see what I am going to say. Yes I know that was the longest sentence. Yes I am okay. Yes I am bored. Yes I am doing this to annoy you. Yes I know it is working. Yes this is my favorite post. Yes I am having fun. Yes this is wasting my time. Yes I don't care. Yes I know you may be confused. Yes I am too. Yes I tired. Yes I am getting a kick out of this. Yes I have just disappointed everyone who knows me. Yes this is fun. Yes you should do it on one of your posts. Yes I have spent a whole hour doing this.